A Bear That Types
'Rawr!' and Other Exceptional Insights Into A Bear's Life
#25: Living In The Midwest Is A Real Pain
Jul 8th
Some days I feel like giving up altogether. It’s hard living in a place where you are a minority – maybe an unconventional one, but a minority nonetheless.
I’m not talking about race – I’m talking about political ideology. I am surrounded by Bible-waving, Hatred-spewing, Revenge-touting Pro-Life Unless They’re Gay Then Murder Them, “Real” Americans. Daily, I’m told how worthless my opinions are, and what a fucking sinner I am for daring to be a non-theist, for daring to believe that the consumption of marijuana falls under “pursuit of Liberty”, and how wrong I am for thinking that a fetus is not the same thing as a Soon To Be Child Of Christ’s Love.
The problem is that I don’t fucking care for their views. Not, “Oh we can agree to a compromise, look at us be civil!”. No. I mean, I cannot tolerate anyone who shares a different world view than my own, which I believe to be empirically and fundamentally correct.
I don’t need a god or lack of a god to know that it should not be permissible to stone any human being, woman or man, Muslim or atheist. The Middle East disagrees with me, I say, fuck the Middle East, I don’t really care what their view is, because they’re wrong.
I don’t need a bible in order to come to the conclusion that the Government has no business dealing with pro-choice/anti-choice legislation because it’s a personal religious issue and god dammit legislating morality is wrong.
I don’t need twenty scientific studies to determine whether marijuana is safe or harmful or a little of both or a lot of fun or a purple dragon’s magical semen. I don’t fucking care. Tobacco falls under “pursuit of Liberty” even though it is proven to be harmful (and something I CHOOSE to ingest!), likewise Alcohol falls under “pursuit of Liberty” even though it is proven to be harmful (and also something I CHOOSE to ingest!), and goddamned Marijuana should fall under the same thing!
But today – ohhh, today – I had some dumb ass make a claim on our local newspaper’s web site (why do these fucking things exist? they’re just a contemptuous breeding ground for conservative retards) that… get this…
As for the legalize industrial hemp baloney, it’s nothing more than a way to help disguise production of it’s illegal cousin. Good luck finding a patch of the illegal stuff growing in the middle of a field of industrial hemp. If this weren’t the case, why is it always primarily a bunch of stoner pot heads that are out promoting it?
All right. Let’s break this down. BECAUSE it is true that many of the promoters of legalization causes, whether medicinal, hemp for agriculture, general legalization because it’s the fucking Constitutional thing to do, etc., are often promoted by individuals that this gem of a Midwesterner has branded as too “stoner pot head”, SO BE IT that industrial hemp is bullshit and just a front for legalizing marijuana.
*facepalm*
I don’t get it. Why? Why does it have to be this way? Why does “our” country have to be filled with two fundamentally different populations who completely and utterly disagree on most of what constitutes “the American life”?
I’m so embarrassed to live in America. I genuinely hate it here, I feel like a prisoner, and because of our culture I have no way to escape. I’m so angry I can’t even see straight – or type straight. Why do liberals have to be the repressed minority?
#24: This Weekend’s Project
Jun 10th
I am god damn sick of not brewing beer!!!
No, that isn’t this weekend’s project, but it’s related to it. I used to brew on my front porch. My front porch is enclosed: this is not conducive to brewing because you tend to develop issues with heat from the burner, humidity from the boiling wort, and… oh yeah! The huge cloud of Carbon Monoxide which will kill you dead! How could I forget that?! 
Seriously though, you shouldn’t use Propane burners indoors unless you have adequate ventilation and know what you’re doing, neither of which I possess.
So I’m going to start brewing outdoors instead. Which is no big deal. But I don’t have anything structure-y to use for height, in order to get the necessary gravity siphons going to move wort around. I do not have a wort pump, so I need to build some sort of tall stand that I can start using to mash my grains upon.
THAT is this weekend’s project: I want to take a crack at either finding suitable shelving or whatever to convert into a stand, or else I want to go get some 2×4″’s from the hardware store, and see how terrible I am at carpentry.
Should be fun!
#23: OCD (and VH1?!)
Jun 10th
That entry title looks weird as hell, but stay with me.
VH1 has rolled out their new show The OCD Project … which unsurprisingly is yet another line of coke being laid on the table in the giant 8-ball party that is currently ‘reality TV’. Ready to eagerly sniff it up?
Good. Because this show is actually entertaining! Yes, they deal with serious topics. But each of the contestants is somewhat likable, and very TV-friendly in their individual manifestation of their compulsions. The dramatic one, the earnest one, the one that just wants to be normal again, the one that appears hopeless, etc, the cast is very diverse and relatable.
I mention this show because… drumroll, it’s making me look more closely at my OWN life and at my OWN compulsions! I’m quickly realizing that I lie to myself a LOT! I actually suffer from far worse compulsions that I usually acknowledge, because each of them is very neat and small and easily hidden or painted over.
But watching this show is forcing me to see them, in fact it’s taking my beloved Sharpie marker and it’s drawing big outlines around each of my compulsions, and while they might not be completely paralyzing, such that I am still able to go to the grocery store and not worry about stepping onto floor tiles a certain way, but they are still present, and now they’re somewhat highlighted in my mind.
This is a good thing. I can see what I’m being compulsive about, now I need to start classifying what they are, tangibly, and how I can alter them.
Booyeah. VH1 for the win. See, even when our society is swirling around the drain because of our negligent insistence that American Idol is more important than oil spills or financial corruption, the answer CAN still come from the telly set! Hahaha! Irony rocks!
#22: Eminem: Recovery (album review)
Jun 10th
So, as most hip hop fans are aware already, the Internet has once again produced a leak of the new Eminem album Recovery. I’m thrilled, even though I’m buying the CD on release day to show my support & approval, because I’ve been eagerly awaiting the new disc all year.
I’ve liked Eminem since My Name Is was on the radio, and in the past I’ve picked up every disc as soon as they come out. In doing some Recovery-related reading on the internet, there’ve been a couple different threads in which fans have been discussing their favorite Em albums, which ones they thought sucked, which ones changed their lives as listeners, etc.
This got me thinking about my own preference… And I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t *have* a favorite Eminem album. They’re all good in their own way, and I listen to each of them for different reasons. More >
#21: Feeling Intimidated Right Now
Jun 2nd
I’m feeling exceptionally failtastic right now. I have been feeling like this very often lately.
I’ve been trying to broaden my horizons in regard to my outlook on life, and in order to do this I’ve been hunting for positive blogs to read. (I don’t read books, I feel threatened by them.) I don’t much like the concept of being a “blog follower” because it creeps me out a little. I already feel self-conscious about the people that I currently stalk follow read about, thinking that they probably see me as some vaguely irrational basement-dweller who inappropriately latches on to people. So the thought of going out and following more people whom I don’t know, just kind of shakes my cage a lil’ bit. More >
#20: I Cannot Even Come Up With A Witty Title.
May 28th
Another post that I am sharing with you from BlagHag. Enjoy.
http://www.blaghag.com/2010/05/this-event-is-giving-me-good-vibrations.html
*speechless*
#19: What’s Wrong With The World: American Idol
May 27th
It really bugs me that Lee DeWyze won Season 9 of American Idol.
I don’t mind him. He seems like a very neat guy, and his voice is by no means ‘bad’. He’s a reasonably talented singer, and he has become far more confident than he was in early episodes of Season 9.
But I do mind that the general public places value on high school crushes so much more than actual talent and effort. Crystal was a hundred times better than Lee, all season long, and just like I kind of suspected that Casey’s departure last week was a planned event, I think that Lee was the chosen winner many many weeks ago, and that nothing Crystal did could have dethroned him.
That said, I wish Crystal all the best of luck (Lee too, no hard feelings) and hope that her career proceeds to smash all expectations, winner or no winner.
#18: Uncertainty.
May 27th
This past week has been rife with thought and conversation about the future. It’s a lot to take in, and I’m having trouble processing it all.
On one hand, my wife is a wonderful young lady and is very special. She deserves far better than I can offer her, no matter what her shortcomings may be. All she really wants from me is for me to accept the notion that what is good for me doesn’t necessarily dictate what others should do. And, from a purely philosophical perspective, I can understand what she is asking me and why. More >
#17: An Excellent Article By BlagHag (Jen)
May 21st
BlagHag: Who Needs God When You Have Biologists?
Click it. Read it. Love it.
“But what creationists cannot get around is the increasing demonstration that life is merely an immensely complicated chemical reaction.” … This sums up my view perfectly. More on this topic in a future post. Trust me, I have plenty of upcoming rants in the pipeline for your reading amusement.
#16: “What is life? I’m tired of life.”
May 21st
The title of this post is the last introductory line of Eminem’s “If I Had” from the Slim Shady LP.
My mother contacted me the other day. She wants to sit down and have a conversation about my depression, in order to gauge how despondent I am or am not. As you can presume, this conversation sounds about as much fun as a week spent with a stomach virus causing catastrophic diarrhea.
I am fully aware that I am despondent. I know exactly how pointless life feels, and I agree wholeheartedly that there is virtually nothing in life from which I extract happiness or joy. My life is miserable, sometimes made less miserable by a funny TV show or a night with friends. But overall, I know that financially I am flat fucked, and that recovery will take years of slow, careful steps. I know that emotionally, I am entirely dysfunctional, identifying more as a mechanical entity than as a human being. And I know that my relationship, while not pointless, will continue to be difficult and stressful and a constant consumer of my patience and my energy as Wendy and I work through our issues. More >